A recent strange-but-true series of escalatingly catastrophic financial events has left me poor. You wouldn't believe it all if I told you. And I'm not gonna, so don't ask.
So it was the final straw today when I went to the bank, punched in my pin code then 50,000yen ($500) on the keypad, took my card and receipt and left the bank.
Read that sentence again, let me know when you find the problem.
I left the money in the machine.
I only realized my mistake after a 1.5 hour Japanese lesson and 30 minute lunch. I went back to the bank, hopeful that if the do-the-right-thing Japanese nature didn't prevent anyone from taking it, then the security cameras and national fear of public shame might. I was wrong.
I'd forgotten that because 90% of Japanese people are engineers (the rest are children), machines here are vastly superior to us meatbags. The ATM, once it realized I wasn't taking the money, closed its plastic mouth, chewed and swallowed those clean new notes, then re-deposited the money back into my account.
It's times like this that I'm glad that I live in such a technologically advanced country. At a time when many fleshwalkers making bad business decisions cost me a lot of money, all it took was one smart machine to restore my faith in the future and my financial stability. I stand in Tokyo's grey center, arms outstretched, welcoming the coming robot apocalypse.
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