So I had a dream last night. There's this girl that I like. She hits all the qualities on my top five list. Anyway, last night I had a dream about her.
Not that kind of dream.
Anyway, we were with a bunch of people hanging out somewhere, when we see this lake and decide to separate from the group and go onto the lake on two inflatable mattresses, for some reason. Suddenly it becomes clear the lake is part of some trash dump - there's a pile of trash over on the side and some things floating in the water. I realise the floating things are actually futons (foldable Japanese floor beds), and they are still wrapped in the original plastic packaging. Figuring they are new, I decide to get a couple because I'll have some guests staying at my house soon. As I'm trying to fish them out of the lake, I see a look of disgust on her face - she has totally lost all respect, and anything else she had for me.
Analyse that, Freuds! Post comments. Hi Hiroko, if you're reading this. Sorry I'm a tight ass.
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Monday, 3 March 2008
I fired the bird
I find many Japanese people frustrating. Not for any real reason ... my beef is all about their inability to communicate, to simplify their spoken Japanese so that I can understand it. Here is a guide:
1) Speak slowly
2) Use simple words
3) Use short sentences
That's it. It ain't rocket science. But the average conversation goes like this (translated into english)
"Hey man, did you get up to much today?"
What? Could you speak more slowly please?
"Sorry, ah, did you get up to much today?"
Get ... up ... I got up at 10AM.
"No, I mean, did you do this or that today?"
You're speaking fast again. Please speak slowly, and use simple words. Imagine I am three years old.
"Ok, ah, what activities did you do today?"
Acutibity ....
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS SAY THIS:
What did you do today?
It's not hard. But almost nobody knows how to do it, because they've never had to do it before. The reason I get so frustrated, is because I can, and have, had english conversations about the internal components of nuclear power stations with students whose english vocabulary was about 150 words. I can communicate any meaning using about four words and gestures, and I can understand almost any broken gibberish sentence thrown at me. For example (and these are all taken from reality):
"Yesterday, I sleep the car."
This means the student slept in his car yesterday.
"I eat the restaurant and very bad toilet."
The student got food poisoning.
"I fired the bird."
This means the student cooked a chicken dinner. They have a gas stove, and the cooking referred to was probably frying.
"I used the stove."
The student used a heater because it was cold in their apartment.
If I can do it, why can't they? Oh right, 'cause they're not professional teachers. I realize most Australian's can't do this either, but speaking to a foreigner is a two-way street. They're trying their best to understand you, you have to try your best to make yourself understood.
The reason why it really frustrates me is this. Because my level of english communication is off the scale, and most Japanese people lack the ability to communicate effectively in Japanese with learners like me, I end up speaking English to people all the time. Even with people whose English is clearly worse than my Japanese. Just so we can understand each other. Then because they understand, they think their english is much better than my Japanese. STFU, buddy.
And I didn't even mention the people that say an easily understandable sentence to me in Japanese, but too fast, and when I ask them to repeat it they resort to their completely unintelligible english. I mean unintelligible. Compared, "I fired the bird" is a model of english proficiency.
Even worse are the people that know their english is shitter than my shitty Japanese, but still talk to me in english in social situations because they want to practice. I'm an English teacher - you wanna waste my time, get out your wallet. I never talk in Japanese to people whose english is better than my Japanese. Communication is what's important, not which language it's in.
1) Speak slowly
2) Use simple words
3) Use short sentences
That's it. It ain't rocket science. But the average conversation goes like this (translated into english)
"Hey man, did you get up to much today?"
What? Could you speak more slowly please?
"Sorry, ah, did you get up to much today?"
Get ... up ... I got up at 10AM.
"No, I mean, did you do this or that today?"
You're speaking fast again. Please speak slowly, and use simple words. Imagine I am three years old.
"Ok, ah, what activities did you do today?"
Acutibity ....
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS SAY THIS:
What did you do today?
It's not hard. But almost nobody knows how to do it, because they've never had to do it before. The reason I get so frustrated, is because I can, and have, had english conversations about the internal components of nuclear power stations with students whose english vocabulary was about 150 words. I can communicate any meaning using about four words and gestures, and I can understand almost any broken gibberish sentence thrown at me. For example (and these are all taken from reality):
"Yesterday, I sleep the car."
This means the student slept in his car yesterday.
"I eat the restaurant and very bad toilet."
The student got food poisoning.
"I fired the bird."
This means the student cooked a chicken dinner. They have a gas stove, and the cooking referred to was probably frying.
"I used the stove."
The student used a heater because it was cold in their apartment.
If I can do it, why can't they? Oh right, 'cause they're not professional teachers. I realize most Australian's can't do this either, but speaking to a foreigner is a two-way street. They're trying their best to understand you, you have to try your best to make yourself understood.
The reason why it really frustrates me is this. Because my level of english communication is off the scale, and most Japanese people lack the ability to communicate effectively in Japanese with learners like me, I end up speaking English to people all the time. Even with people whose English is clearly worse than my Japanese. Just so we can understand each other. Then because they understand, they think their english is much better than my Japanese. STFU, buddy.
And I didn't even mention the people that say an easily understandable sentence to me in Japanese, but too fast, and when I ask them to repeat it they resort to their completely unintelligible english. I mean unintelligible. Compared, "I fired the bird" is a model of english proficiency.
Even worse are the people that know their english is shitter than my shitty Japanese, but still talk to me in english in social situations because they want to practice. I'm an English teacher - you wanna waste my time, get out your wallet. I never talk in Japanese to people whose english is better than my Japanese. Communication is what's important, not which language it's in.
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